The guy baffles me. Diametrically opposed. My nemesis. He delivers an anti-kiss. Refuses to pay a debt. And my world is rocked. Way out of proportion.
My dreams say stay cool. He's just trying to provoke you - this is just a test. Some things don't make sense. That dimension which does not respond to reason.
Too many seasons have passed. Way too many and now I see a clearing ahead. My head has cleared and I no longer make excuses for people who deserve no excuses.
Our dealings were outside the law and so we make our own rules. I find out how I fare in the jungle where there are no officials to protect me. Dylan said - 'if you live outside the law, you must be honest' and I have layers of honesty, that's for sure. But to let it cut all the way down takes massive courage and faith. To see clearly what is not true is to dismantle the foundation of this world and stand on virgin ground.
To really speak the truth is to live in a constant rebirth. Uncover lost dimensions from the earth which we were treading on all along but got lost in this edifice of pavement and phones, yearning for saviours and the latest ring-tone, when actually all we have is ourselves, having unpeeled the layers that hide us from our own being.
Unveiling the spiritual existence that is existence - nothing different to what was always here, just now it makes sense - whereas before we either craved or denied which add up to much the same.
So I stand here and he stands there (on the same ground - herethere). Two very different paths. Different values. Different futures perhaps yet unfinished business keeps some cords still intact.
I see the possibility of redemption in anyone since I've been down to the bottom rock - yet not all want to climb up and not all will.
Just as some people can take a punch so some can bury their sin and carry on forth. Guilt only weighs heavy on those sensitive enough to tune in.
For all I know (and I know this is not true but for poetry's sake) he might have led a blameless life, save for this one infraction. Something told him not to repay. To leave me out in the cold. Some instinct which allows him an arch cruelty which he would not dare inflict on others.
So having asked, having nagged, having angered, having forgiven, having scolded and appealed again. I stand without answers and look him in the face. A non-dual state is the end of all quests. Where we are as much part of the seen as the other. We sculpt our characters through the choices of our lives and hang the result in the gallery of humanity. So be it.